Practicing Seeking

9 Ways to Build Self-Love

self love

Everything comes from the love we have for ourselves. It may sound New Age-y, but the truth is, the more you learn to love yourself, the better you become in your other relationships — and every other part of your life. It’s an actual, proven “thing.”

Self-love is a journey that requires reinforcement. When your sense of self-love is low, you’ll spend a lot of time trying to be seen and heard. The problem is, if you don’t “see” yourself, others won’t see you either.

Learning to love yourself is about intentional actions, most of them small, some big. All of them have the same result. Here are some things you can incorporate into your day to day life to build up this powerful energy.

1.    Affirmations

What do you “believe” about yourself? What things do you know to be true about who you are? Sometimes, even when you know the answers to these questions, you doubt it — even just a bit. Without a positive thought to counter it, the more you believe the negative.

Write down answers to these questions and formulate short, positive affirmations. Alternatively, you can get them from books or online. Every time you experience doubt, you say something positive to yourself. Affirmations remind you that doubt is temporary.

2.    Look in the mirror

“Mirror Work” is great when you’re in doubt about something. Have a conversation with yourself. “Speaking it out” might help put things in perspective. This is also a great activity to remind yourself that you have what it takes to find solutions for problems. It teaches you how to be patient, and listen to your inner thoughts.

This can also be also an effective way to deal with body image issues. Looking in the mirror for long periods, especially at the areas you find hard to love, allows you to understand that they’re part of you. If you do this regularly, you’ll start finding something worth looking at.

3.    Spend money on yourself

Sometimes, you see something you want to buy, but can’t. Consider setting aside money as often as you can. When you have enough, make an event out of it. Dress up for the “occasion”; if you can, get something to eat afterward. Celebrate this goal! Spending money on yourself is a great way to reiterate that you deserve good things in life.

4.    Take a Break

Some people are tired of online classes, others can’t stand another virtual meeting, while some feel like their family is getting on their last nerve. Identify the area of your life that makes you feel like you’re losing your mind — and take a time-out from it. You’ll be better for it on the other side.

5.    Remember your Inner Self

Your body knows what it needs. You know when you’re sick and tired because your body communicates it. Learning to listen to it is crucial to self-love. Take time to listen to your inner self. Meditation, yoga, and journaling will help. This also improves your focus and capacity to manage your thoughts.

6.    Do the things you want to

Write down what you “need” to do in a day and select the ones that you don’t hate doing. For some people, these might be the easiest, while for others, it’s those that don’t take much time. Take one day and only do the things that you want to do.

7.    Appreciate and Acknowledge Yourself

It is easy to get lost in perfectionism, but just because something didn’t turn out how you wanted it to, doesn’t mean that you didn’t do your best. Acknowledge your effort and recognize that you did the actual work. Celebrate accomplishments, both big and small. Also, learn to appreciate yourself every step of the way, even on the days when it doesn’t look like you did much.

8.    Open Yourself Up to New Things

Familiar places and things get stale, Doing something different helps reinforce your confidence.

9.    Do Random Acts of Kindness

Helping people makes you feel good about yourself. Find those little random acts and do them as often as you can. Maybe it’s paying for a stranger’s coffee, maybe it’s bringing the newspaper to an elderly neighbor’s door. You’ll feel good, they’ll feel good — it’s a “win-win.”

Building your sense of self-love helps you find balance. You become more confident and happier. Try to do these things as frequently as possible; let them work their magic in helping you live happier and more purposefully.

-Wahu Kariuki

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash


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Wahu Kariuki - Content writer with a Bachelor's degree in education specializing in English/Literature. In both careers, she is driven by her passion towards acknowledging diversity in people. This way, her work seeks to reiterate the essence of autonomy and granting people autonomy.

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